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Here you'll find the weblog for the member Sammy680. Click
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It's Love, But Not As I Know It
| 10-08-2007 13:25 | 1 reaction(s) | add reply |
 What my heart wants to say. I don't allow it to have a voice anymore.
How do I feel about this one person? How can my feelings be so strong and yet not be returned? If I dared to speak the truth, even hint at it…
It's his beauty which captures me. Hook, line, sinker… every single time. The sweetest noise, is when he laughs that way. Can I forget him once I've walked away? I'm convincing myself that I can, all the time knowing that it's just denial.
Why is it him when it could be anybody else? He could be my soul mate, but he's barely an acquaintance anymore. If only I was the treasure that he keeps looking for!
The things that I say are not what I mean but I seem to say them anyway.
"Once you find love, never let go of it". I'm surrounded by people who think this, and it's formed the basis for many recent discussions...so, a short piece… this will be patchy as I have 8 minutes to type it…
What would life be like if we never moved on? Say, you still had the same friends you had way back in primary school. Same old enemies. You lived in the same town all of your life. You still had the same crappy paper round. F*** it, let's say you have an immortal hamster, which has been with you since the age of 7 ¾.
Think of how life would be- not necessarily dull (f***ing likely though), but a great many experiences missed out on. That kinky sex with the hot Polish girl on Friday? Never happened. That trip to Ibiza with your uni mates? Not even a fleeting thought. The wonderful feeling when you went to that interview and walked away with that job? Nope, siree, you still have the paper round!
Life is all about moving on, folks! Why do people think it's okay to cling on to past love, when in every other aspect of their lives they're actively pursuing new things?
How can you say "I'll never love anybody as much as I love you"?
You can't possibly know that, when we have (with any luck) so many years left to live!
You're saying that you're incapable of feeling that level of emotion ever again, which is ridiculous. You have absolutely no idea who you will meet in mere hours, days, weeks, years or decades.
Some (smug) people strike it lucky and meet the (smug) person that they happily settle down with (smugly) at 18; others wait for decades. That's life! Why allow it to occupy your every thought? That's just plain depressing, dammit.
Most of the people who will read this (yeah, I know who you are :p) are in their late teens or early twenties. I fail to understand why so many people our age continue to grasp love even though it's making them f***ing miserable. Are they that insecure? Are they that pessimistic, to believe that they won't meet anybody else ever? I'm not talking a matter of months here; people have spoken of being unhappily in love for years.
There are friends we haven't met yet, lovers we haven't kissed yet, employers we haven't p***ed off yet. Do you really believe that, of all the people you've yet to meet, you're not capable of falling in love with any of them?
Think about it - how many people have you met who've subsequently changed your life? Is it really just the one? Are you going to allow a love which once was to torment you forever?
"But what about 'The One'?" you cry. Well, frankly, that strikes me as over-romanticised c***. What happens if you meet 'The One' and then that person dies? Gee, you sure would be f***ed! Are you destined to be alone for the rest of your life? To make do with second-rate love? What if you and 'The One' have an almighty argument and that person walks out of your life forevermore. Oh right, so you're left clutching the memories, longing for that person until the day you die? Nice thought, that!
Love isn't necessarily the 'be all and end all' people make it out to be. The Beatles were lying (blasphemy, I know. You have permission to deck me when we next meet) when they sang 'all you need is love'
No, it f***ing isn't! People stay with violent partners because they 'love' them. If you have ever known anybody with an abusive partner you'll know how painful it is to stand back and watch. You'll recall the frustration you felt when you advised that person to walk away… and they replied with "but I love him/her".
Didn't you want to repeatedly bang their head against a wall until they saw sense? Would've been cruel in those circumstances, though… anyway.
Unrequited love. I'm not sure that actually exists.
There's a difference between love and devotion/adoration. How can you feel so strongly about someone and not have those feelings returned? (I'm aware that I'm repeating myself here btw).
Surely, the greatest thing about loving someone, is having that person love you. Does that make sense? Probably not, but I just typed it anyway. Ho hum.
Maybe it would happen if you were in a relationship, and one of you fell out of love. Other than that, isn't it just called an obsession?
(Ack, I'm running out of time, so I must rush on. Forgive the random thoughts from here on…)
I'm not trivializing love. It's the most brilliant of all emotions; it touches the darkest of souls, softens the hardest of hearts and makes even the most logical person discard sense. Loving someone, and being loved in return, is the ultimate goal for many of us. But it's not the only goal we have in our lives, is it now?
If you're clinging onto false hope, then face up to it. Accept the fact that, yes, you'll most likely love and care for that person for life, but circumstances prevented you from being together. Stop dwelling on the past and quit torturing your mind with the what ifs. Don't taint the good memories of the time you spent with that person, it's just f***ing tragic.
And if you truly can't accept the fact that your love isn't going to conquer all, if picturing that person with somebody else makes you physically ill, think on this: shouldn't you be actively working on changing the circumstances you find yourself in?
If I don't look back, it doesn't mean I didn't love you.
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| Showing reactions 1-1 of 1 | Page 1 of 1 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 11-08-2007 01:26 XantiXyouX | 
57 posts
| wow. I truley wish I would have read something like that sooner. I mean I agreed with everything you said and I have went throu things similar to what you say and it opened my eyes a little. And I thank you for that  |
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